There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
