Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
