you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...