I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
