you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
