is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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