real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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