dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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