There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
