I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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