I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
