Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?