I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?