She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
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Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
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So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When are your genitals available?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...