I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
