dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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