I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
