Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So squirting runs in the family.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
