If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm at about main and main street
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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