I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
