its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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