i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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