i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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