the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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