The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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