ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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