I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize