and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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