i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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