omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
