There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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