So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
