Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
