Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize