Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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