I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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