it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize