And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
