Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
