Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
ttyl tear gas
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
