i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
