seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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