The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
