i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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