you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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