alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize