Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
