It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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