This is not my ceiling
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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