In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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