apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How does one acquire holy water?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
