i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize