You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
they need to just BURY HIM!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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