She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
