they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
