i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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