can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize