google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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