I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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