He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
